Month: February 2020

Review of Luv 2 Play, Sutton, MA

Posted in Parenting, Raves and Reviews, Single motherhoodLeave a comment

Last weekend, little man and I had the opportunity to check out a new indoor play place, Luv 2 Play, in Sutton, MA.

I’m a huge proponent of free play, especially outdoor play that is both imaginative and, well, free of cost. Unfortunately, I can’t stand being cold and wet. This winter in Central Massachusetts, more days than not have been just that. With February school break around the corner, I knew I’d need a back-up play plan for when the weather, and therefore my mood, was foul. So I was as excited as my son to discover a new indoor play area opening close by. Aside from indoor trampoline places, Luv 2 Play is one of the only indoor play places close to us.

Luv 2 Play is a franchise with multiple locations, but the Sutton one is the only one in Central Mass. We visited during their soft opening, just prior to their grand opening which was Monday, February 10th. They were definitely using the soft opening to work out the minor issues with the registers (learning how to input coupons) and in the snack area (not all options were available yet), but the staff was amazing and patient as they learned and welcomed the first visitors. Be prepared though, you will need to purchase grip socks the first time, and dress cool as it was very warm the day we went, especially once we started running around.

The multi-level main play structure is the perfect place to wear out small bodies before nap or bed, and to exhaust out of shape parents and guardians as they attempt not to smack their head in the maze of slides, crawling tubes, and obstacles. Think American Ninja Warrior: Preschool Edition.

In addition to the main play area, there is a pretty large number of pay-to-play video games. Frankly, I wish this wasn’t a feature since I take little man to these places to avoid screens on bad weather days. However, I understand it could be a draw, especially if parents have kids of multi-ages and need a treat to bribe the older kids to accompany younger siblings. That said, the play areas have a lot of fun to offer the older elementary kids without the added cost of these games.

Another hit with my guy was the ball pit in the toddler section, which he still qualifies for as it is for ages four and under. The block area with large foam Lego-like blocks was another place in which we spent a long time playing. And, despite being over the age, I had to pull my guy from the very tempting baby area, too, with its soft foam climbing blocks and push toys.

Additionally, there is a snack bar with drinks and hot and cold snacks, party rooms for birthdays or private groups, and plenty of seating for parents or tired kiddos to take breaks. The snacks and drinks were pricey, and you aren’t supposed to bring outside food in, which was probably my biggest complaint since it adds considerably to the cost if you are spending a few hours and can’t bring your own snacks. I understand the allergy issue but feel a peanut or all nut ban would suffice.

Other than costs, which are almost always an issue at kid play places, Luv 2 Play is definitely a place I’d recommend to other parents. The staff was available throughout the areas to help kids and parents, they were all friendly, and, my personal favorite, they were almost constantly cleaning. The play equipment was clean, creative, varied, and safe. And most importantly we had a fun, screen-free, active time as a family even on a cold rainy evening.

 

Embracing Help: Hiring a House Cleaner

Posted in Parenting, Single motherhoodLeave a comment

We all outsource—we send our kids to schools or daycares, our cars to the mechanic, our pets to the groomers and vets. No one blinks an eye at most of these habits, because we can see that having a professional help us is efficient and leads to a better end-product. Yet when a mom or wife hires a cleaner or a cook, we judge. I judged.

There was a time when whenever I heard someone mention having a house cleaner I had all I could do to keep my snarky “that must nice” comment in my head where it belonged. I thought cleaning ladies were a luxury reserved for the wealthy, or at a bare minimum only for two-income families. A house cleaner was a privilege.

Then I got pregnant via donor and could hardly stay awake long enough to drive myself home during my first trimester. There was no one to help with household chores besides my parents who were already doing too much for me, and if I did too much myself, I ended up at the OBs with bleeding and the panic that comes with fearing the worst. Suddenly hiring someone to help clean sounded a lot more like a necessity than a luxury. So I caved. I cut back on a few other expenses (who needs a landline anyway?) and hired one. Just temporarily to get me through my pregnancy.

Then it was just to get past healing from my c-section. Then through infancy and his reflux and weight gain issue days of little sleep and lots of crying (his and mine). Then it was…well then it just was.

At first, I felt guilty or lazy admitting to people that I paid another working mom to clean my house for me. I felt like it was a luxury I shouldn’t have as a single mother who frequently complained with friends about the crazy costs of raising a child. Surely if I was really worried about my budget, I shouldn’t have a house cleaner. Right?

Wrong. I wasn’t hiring someone to clean so I could have time to binge-watch tv or take a weekend nap—although, frankly, even if I was, that would also have been ok. I needed help, not just because I’m single, but because I am a mom, and moms juggle a million jobs. Or we attempt to. Usually, one of those balls gets dropped. And it might be cleaning the house or it might be one of a dozen other chores. Or it even might be taking time to play with our kid, or take a quiet minute for ourselves, or spending time with our partner.

I needed someone to take something off my plate. For me, coming home to a clean house is a source of relief and comfort. Hiring someone to help provide that for me, so that I can relax and focus on my family, my job, and my other chores after work instead, is not just a luxury, it is a true sanity saver. It is a tool in my self-care, anti-anxiety toolbox that I now have come to view as no different than getting a babysitter when I need a break or calling out when I don’t have the time or energy to cook.

I do understand that there are families that even after dropping other expenses and arranging their budgets still can’t afford this type of help, and I feel sorry about that, just as I feel sorry for families that can’t afford other items and assistance I can provide for myself and my son. But I no longer feel sorry or embarrassed for paying for the help I need. I’ve cleaned house of the guilt and am a happier, healthier mom, teacher, and woman because of it. And I absolutely could embrace my cleaner for all her help!

 

Photo credit: ID 149432776 © Chutima Chaochaiya | Dreamstime.com

Dating a Mom

Posted in Parenting, relationships4 Comments

Recently, I dove back into the dating world. I don’t know why I decided now was the right time. While we’re past diapers, nursing, and the terrible twos around here, we’re also still dealing with occasional clinginess and nearly nightly co-sleeping, and have yet to have a non-family member babysitter. Not an ideal combo for wanting to go out in the world on a weekly basis.

Despite this, something pushed me to give the crazy world of online dating another go, and it might have been fate, because within a matter of days I connected with someone who is quickly becoming quite special to me. And it’s a good thing she feels the same, because dating a mom is no joke.

The biggest challenge is that, well, I’m a mom, and motherhood doesn’t come with an off switch. Being a mother means my kid will always take precedence. His schedule, his needs, his feelings will always be my first priority. My cell phone will always be within reach just in case there’s an emergency. I will always feel the tug to respond to his cries, even if it means putting on pause whatever else I am doing. Most days he will be the first person I think of and take care of upon waking and the last person I check on before drifting off to sleep. Dating a mom means accepting that for quite a while in the relationship you will play second-fiddle to someone who can’t even wipe his own butt yet.

Just as dating a mom isn’t easy, dating as a mom isn’t easy. I have less time, less money, and more responsibility than I ever dreamed of when I dated as a single and free twenty-something. I can’t go out as easily as I used to, but I need to be even more careful whom I bring home because of who is already at home. And both dating and motherhood are emotionally exhausting—exciting, intense, and at times exhilarating—but exhausting.

Luckily, moms, especially single moms, know how to multitask, schedule, and just plain make shit work. Sure, I have fallen asleep some nights in my son’s bed when I had said I’d try to call my new girlfriend, but I also have managed to do dishes, play fetch with the dog, and fix my son’s iPad 35 times all while chatting with her. Long before returning to dating, I had learned to make time for all that needs to be crammed into one day or at least learned to deal with the stress of knowing it’s impossible to actually fit it all in. I learned to prioritize and let go. If you become a mom’s special someone, she will make time for you. It might mean being invited over after bedtime despite a sink full of dishes and a floor full of Legos, but a mom with a mission will make it work.

I’m making it work. And I’m so happy I dove in before thinking of all the challenges or worrying about each and every possible roadblock. Because dating a mom and dating as a mom is doable. It takes patience, understanding, organizing, and a touch of faith and fearlessness on the part of both parties, but it’s doable. Maybe even ideal. After all, a mom knows her heart can grow exponentially. She knows caring for someone isn’t always easy, but it’s worth all the hard work. Being a mother has given me confidence and strength, and over time has taught me how to share myself with someone and allow that person to change me for the better without losing my old self completely.

And on the flip side, anyone hardcore enough to take on the challenge of dating a mom is worth the effort and the wait. He or she’s interest and commitment must be beyond what is normally required, so if it’s there, it’s probably pretty special and intense. And very much appreciated!

Maybe it was fate that brought me back into the dating world. It certainly feels that way whenever I’m with my girlfriend. But I also think I was finally at the right place in my personal growth to accept another person into my fold, and I credit that to the last four years of parenting. Being a mom certainly adds layers to dating and finding the right person, but it also has made me ready to take on those challenges.

 

Photo credit:I D 122486443 © Henadzi Pechan | Dreamstime.com